Yaoi Fanfiction
by Arigatomina
Summary: An overdone story line, the GW pilots gather to read some interesting stories. Being rewritten will be posted on mediaminer in full MST format Humor, shonen ai, 1x2, 3x4.
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: Okay, this is just a spoof of some fics I've read that have the gundam pilots reading yaoi fanfiction and getting really angry about it. Well, what I've done is imagined that the series was a fictional one based on what really happened to the pilots. Then, I have them getting together and reading some of my fics. I would have liked to use other people's fics as well, but I would have had to ask permission first, and I couldn't wait. Unlike those other fics, the pilots don't necessarily get angry about all of the fics, although I know they will be about some of them. Anyway, this is a humorous and odd fic that I may eventually do a sequel for. I don't know.  
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, AU, comedy, romance  
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6+5/5+6, reference to other *fictional* pairings  
Warnings: Possible OOC but I don't think so. Shonen ai and references to lemons and limes and odd pairings that they are reading about. If you haven't read the fic, you may be confused, but you'll still get the gist of why they react the way they do.  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina  
  
Yaoi Fanfiction  
  
Part 1: And They All Came  
  
"What are you doing?" Duo frowned from the doorway, blinking at his lover and partner as he found Heero seated in front of his laptop. Trowa and Quatre were supposed to be there any minute, and Wufei had been sitting in the driveway when he'd gotten back from some last second shopping. Heero turned sharply at his voice, almost jumping and Duo raised an eyebrow. Obviously, whatever the boy was doing, he'd been so engrossed in it he hadn't heard Duo's arrival. That spoke of how serious it was. "Heero, you're blushing."  
  
With a low growl, Heero shook his head, his face heating more as he suddenly pushed the button, the printer he had hooked to his computer spitting out page after page of print. "I was checking my email," he said slowly, sighing as Duo stepped forward and leaned over him, one arm trailing down his chest. "Relena sent me a rather vague message, telling me to go to a site on the internet."  
  
"Relena? Isn't she too busy to be surfing the net?" Duo frowned, wondering what had been important enough to cause the girl to break her busy routine. It wasn't often that they even heard from her. "And? Where'd she want you to go?"  
  
"To a site," Heero repeated, his eyes narrowing as he felt his cheeks grow warm again. "It's an...archive...of writers who write stories about things they've seen or read, www.fanfiction.net."  
  
"Wow, I've heard of fan-fiction. But why would Relena want you to go read some stories?"  
  
"Because. They're about us." The boy beside him tensed, and Heero nodded slowly. "She gave me the name of a specific author, and Duo...those stories...fics...they're..."  
  
"Heero? Just spit it out."  
  
"No," Heero said quickly, shaking his head as he clicked onto another of the stories he'd copied, printing it as well. "I'm going to print some of these, and I think we should read them, all of us."  
  
"Well, that's cool. Wufei's already here, and Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too long." Duo smiled when Heero looked surprised. "Yep, he said he knocked for a good five minutes. Guess you were distracted."  
  
"You can say that again..."  
  
* * *  
  
Heero carried the papers, having stapled the different stories together, and he handed them out silently, without explaining. But then, he didn't really need to since Duo had already told the other three about Relena's message. As it was, they were also eager to know what was being written about them. While their plan had been to simply get together and visit, it was apparent they would be spending their time a bit differently.  
  
"What's yaoi?" Quatre asked, frowning at the story Heero had handed him. The first thing on the page had been the category of the story and while the name Gundam Wing was obvious to him, as he had a secret love of Japanimation, he didn't understand the other word.  
  
"It..." Heero cleared his throat, wishing he didn't have to be the only one who'd heard of the word before. "It basically tells about the type of...relationship...yaoi...it means two guys...as apposed to a male and a female." The blonde boy was staring at him, and he felt his face heat yet again when Wufei snorted softly. "It does."  
  
"Cool," Duo laughed, looking at the stiff boy seated beside him. "And Relena reads stories about gay guys? That's unbelievable!"  
  
"Just read." Heero didn't look up, his jaw tightening as he waited for the next outburst. He already imagined how the others would react to the stories, he hadn't even read them all, and he'd been fighting an intense nosebleed. Of course, they'd soon figure out why he had three boxes of kleenex set in the middle of the table beside the coffee pot and cups. He imagined it would be a long night.  
  
"What do the numbers mean?" Trowa asked, frowning slightly. It was evident that the writer used them with ease, and he didn't doubt that there were people who understood the meanings. He, however, wasn't one of them. "One x two?"  
  
Again, it was Heero who was left with the explaining, and this time he didn't blush at all, smirking at Duo. "The numbers," he said slowly, "refer to us. I am the 1, for being pilot 01, Duo is 2, Trowa, you're 3 and Quatre is 4 and Wufei is 5."  
  
"I get it," Duo said, smiling widely as he looked at all of them. "It's what OZ dubbed us, the numbers for us pilots."  
  
"Right," Heero nodded, still looking pleased.  
  
"But what is the x?" Wufei's eyes narrowed when Heero suddenly looked ready to grin, and he wondered if he really wanted to know.  
  
"This one took me a bit longer," Heero admitted. "But a plus sign means friendship or liking someone romantically, the first number being the one liking the second number. And an x means sex, the first one...dominating...the second." Duo choked, and he suddenly did smile, if only for a second.  
  
"What?!" Wufei's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he took a long drink of the cup set to his left, swallowing till his throat was scalded. "Then this...1x2 means you and Duo?!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Duo slowly smiled, and his eyes glinted as he now understood why Heero had looked so smug. Obviously his lover was proud to be the "dominant" one, not that Duo had ever found reason to complain.  
  
"Then the 3x4 means..." Quatre blushed, his voice trailing off as he gave a slow and shy smile at Trowa, shaking his head. "I guess this author has done his homework."  
  
"Hers," Heero said, frowning again. "I think it's a girl. Relena thought so, and she's probably right. In fact, from what little Relena *did* say in her note, most of the people who write these stories are female."  
  
"Really," Duo said, his voice surprised. "Wow. Okay, so what's the lemon mean, Heero?"  
  
"Sex."  
  
The boy had said it so simply that Duo couldn't help but smile. "Where did *that* come from? Sex is lemon? But lemons are sour." Heero snorted.  
  
"...who the *hell*...is number six?"  
  
Everyone turned to look at Wufei, no one missing how pale the boy was and they looked again to the story they held, the 6x5 suddenly making them wonder as well.   
  
"Zechs," Heero said.  
  
"Ack!"  
  
Duo laughed suddenly, loving how red the Chinese boy was and the way he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Man, Wufei, why didn't you tell us you and Zechs had a thing going on? I thought we were friends."  
  
"You slept with Zechs?" Quatre looked confused, and he glared at Trowa when the tall boy let out a sharp laugh. "Well?"  
  
"I did not!" Wufei shouted, pinning the blonde with an intense glare as he clenched the edge of the table. "It's a lie!"  
  
"Calm down," Heero said smoothly. "These stories are fiction, meaning they aren't truth. Keep reading, though. If you think that's bad, wait till you get to the actual story."  
  
"The...warning is bad enough," Duo said, his voice soft as he felt his own face turning red. "Heero...1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 1x5...6x1?! You *never* let me be on top so why the *hell* would *Zechs* get to be?!"  
  
Heero turned a bit pale, then pink, and he shook his head quickly, fighting the urge to move his chair back. "It's fiction, Duo. Remember?"  
  
"Besides," Quatre said slowly, his own hot face not helping any. "Duo...there's a...4x2..."  
  
"What?!"  
  
The blonde boy blushed darker as both Trowa and Duo stared at him, then they looked down at the paper they held and cursed. "I didn't do anything," he said defensively. "I don't know *what's* wrong with this person, writing stuff like that."  
  
"Zechs is with everyone," Wufei said, relief audible as he scanned the warning to the story. "Not just me."  
  
"But those aren't the *main* pairings," Heero reminded him, then he smirked and turned so he could look at his wide-eyed lover. "Duo, did you notice what position you have...in *all* of the pairings?"  
  
"Wha...? What?! Damnit, why am I always on bottom?! I'm as much of a man as any of you!" The many raised eyebrows made him glare, and he pinned Quatre with a dark gaze. "And there's no way I wouldn't be able to dominate *you*."  
  
"Hey!" Quatre cried, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you trying to say, Duo?"  
  
"Just read the actual story," Heero said again, not wanting a fight to break out. "And remember that this is fiction."  
  
"Fine, but we'll discus this later." Quatre scowled at Duo again, then looked down at the pages in his hands. Then the American suddenly laughed, and he blinked, glancing up in surprise. "What?"  
  
"This title!" Duo choked, grinning widely. "And They All Came! Damn that's great!"  
  
Heero smirked, but didn't say anything. He'd expected Duo to get a kick out of that, but he wondered if the boy would get the double meaning after reading the actual story. Still, it was a long story.  
  
"Is...Dorothy and Relena..." Wufei seemed to have trouble asking the question, and his face looked a bit greenish. "Are they in this story with...us?"  
  
"Oh yuck!" Duo bent forward, making retching noises as he gagged violently. "Eww...that's *so* gross! I ain't reading *that*!"  
  
"They are just mentioned in the end," Heero said, agreeing with the boy's disgust. "And PWP...that means point what point, saying there isn't a real reason for the story." No one had asked, but he assumed they wouldn't know. Again, he was glad Relena had thought to do a *bit* of explaining before she'd sent him to the site.  
  
"Is this her name?" Trowa seemed calmer than the others, but then, he usually *did* seem calm. "Arigatomina?"  
  
"Yes," Heero nodded, his eyes glinting suddenly. "She's using two Japanese words, probably because Gundam Wing originated in Japan."  
  
"What *is* Gundam Wing?" Duo asked suddenly.  
  
"It's an anime series about us and the war," Heero said quickly, hoping they wouldn't find out he'd watched it. There had been simply too much of an implied relationship between him and Relena for him to be comfortable with it, and he could imagine how badly Duo would take *that*. "That's not important, though. Her name, it's thank you and everyone."  
  
"I get it," Duo smiled, "Arigato and mina. That's cool. But didn't she spell thank you wrong? She has it with a u in her email address."  
  
"Who cares," Wufei muttered, leaning forward to rip a kleenex out of the box nearest him. "Read the first page. Trowa, you move much too fast."  
  
"What?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at the boy, then he blinked as he saw that Wufei was stemming a nose bleed. He turned his eyes to the page quickly, then he felt himself grow warm as well, not quite as bothered as the black-haired boy as the scene was something of a turn on. "Oh."  
  
"Trowa..." Quatre smiled warmly, scooting his chair closer to the tall boy and wrapping an arm around his waist, "This is so sweet. You came just for me..."  
  
"Oh my God!" Duo laughed suddenly, breaking the silence which had gone undisturbed aside from the sounds of kleenexes being pulled from boxes. They'd been reading. "Trowa...that's so corny, man. 'Quatre, you were made for loving'! Damn, you wouldn't actually *say* something like that...would you?" Duo's eyes suddenly widened as the tall boy's cheeks slowly darkened, and he turned, staring at Quatre's pleased smile. "You two...are so..."  
  
"Sappy," Heero supplied, remembering the term. "Most stories about them tend to have tons of sap."  
  
"Sap, sweet stuff, that sounds about right." Duo grinned, getting over his surprise as he cleared his throat, then he choked suddenly as he read the next scene. "Wufei?!"  
  
"No!" The black-haired boy was beet red, and he shook his head quickly, holding a kleenex firmly to his nose. "I *never*...stared at you...well...that is..."  
  
"Hn." Heero's eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn't let it bother him. Looking was fine, it was only if the boy acted on his attraction that he would have to kill him. And, as he'd told them before, it wasn't real.   
  
"Damn...Wufei..." Quatre blushed, then he looked up at Duo in something akin to awe. "Are you really so bold? Offering to...help...him with his...problem...?"  
  
"With me, he is," Heero said sharply, enjoying the way the long-haired boy stared at the table in embarrassment. "It gets worse...Wufei, you might want to take the entire box for the next part." The boy in question looked very worried, and Heero didn't so much as smirk when he pushed a box closer to Wufei. "I'm serious."  
  
"Heero! You and Wufei?!" Duo had scanned ahead, and he stared at the printed words, picturing his lover dominating a lustful Wufei in a shower room. "Damn..."  
  
"Hentai...isn't it." Heero smirked a bit, trying to hide how much his body was trying to react to the scene he was reading. While he didn't love Wufei, he had to appreciate the description.  
  
**a few pages later**  
  
"Okay, what's with this girl and bondage?" Duo asked, holding three wadded tissues to his nose as he shook his head slowly. "And why is it always Quatre? I mean, why not tie Heero up, or Trowa?" The two boys glared at him, but he scowled. "Seriously, I mean, Quatre *wanted* to be tied up. That's no fun..." The blonde boy was choking, hands hiding his face so only his pink forehead was visible. "And this...threesome...Trowa and Zechs *both* doing Quatre? This is crazy..."  
  
"...." Trowa scowled at Duo, then rubbed the slim back beside him as Quatre finally managed to calm enough to glance up. "Quatre, I wouldn't."  
  
"Why not?" Quatre frowned, ignoring Trowa's choked expression. "It's not like I'd be against a little playing, Trowa. After all, this author's right about one thing, I'm not afraid of a little pain. You don't always have to be sweet and gentle with me, you know."  
  
"Quatre..."  
  
"Not that I don't *love* sweet and gentle," the blonde said quickly, smiling, "but we could try this, *without* Zechs, however. Thank you, but no. He really isn't my type."  
  
"I'd hope not," Duo grinned, his eyes flying over the next page or two. "Because from the looks of this, he's seeing Wufei kinda steady. I mean, Zechs is like a lecher or something." Wufei groaned, bowing his head, and Duo's grin widened. "You go, Wufei. After all, it would take quite a *man* to satisfy this guy."  
  
"Maxwell...don't make me kill you..."   
  
Heero raised an eyebrow, but he wasn't worried as Wufei hadn't so much as glanced up. He was very glad he had extra boxes, as the Chinese boy had used up one all by himself, the other two depleted rapidly by the multiple sex scenes they'd read. "Wait, the next one is Wufei and Quatre."  
  
"What?" Trowa glared at the dark-eyed boy beside him, holding still only because Wufei looked as shaken by the news as Quatre did. "Let me read this..."  
  
**more pages**  
  
"I just don't know what to say," Duo murmured, staring at the blushing Trowa. "The thought of you acting like this...damn. And Heero," he turned to his lover, pleased that the Japanese boy was just as embarrassed. "Are you into voyeurism? I know this is just fiction, but you did squirm a lot when you read over it. Watching Trowa hold me down? I never would have expected it from you."  
  
"Duo...you are a baka."  
  
"Maybe," the longhaired boy shrugged, "But Trowa's a tease. I mean, having sex with Wufei, right there in the hallway? I don't care if you *were* drunk. That's just...so...not like you."  
  
"You'd be surprised," Quatre said slowly, his pale blue-green eyes glinting as he enjoyed his tall lover's embarrassment. "You should have seen him the other day when I was shopping for clothes. He couldn't even wait until we got to the car. I bet the person who cleans those changing booths was shocked." Duo choked, staring at him in disbelief, and Quatre blushed, still smiling. "Yes, Trowa can be wild when he's...aroused."  
  
"Okay, but why the hell, if Heero and I are one of the main pairings, did this girl make our...lemon...last?" Duo frowned, glaring at the page. "Does she not like us? I mean, Quatre and Trowa got to be first, and Wufei and..." He smiled suddenly, his voice taunting as he stared at Wufei. "...Zechs were in the middle. But I didn't get Heero until dead last."  
  
"Who knows," Quatre said. "What I want to know is why she had *Relena* of all people, teaming up with *Dorothy* to record us having sex. There's no way..."  
  
"I think that's why Relena read the story," Heero nodded. "The warning about Relena bashing was about the end. I think the author doesn't like her."  
  
"This has been the most...unjust thing I have ever read." Wufei scowled at the others, folding his arms over his chest. "So, we are going to hunt this Arigatomina down, right? That's why you had us read this, isn't it Yuy."  
  
Heero shook his head slowly. "This is just one of the stories, wait until you read some of the others. But not yet. I think we should get Zechs over here for the others." Wufei had turned pale, but he nodded. "He deserves to know, doesn't he?"  
  
"...."  
  
"Right," Duo smiled, nodding as if agreeing with Wufei's unspoken response. "Then it's settled. I'll call him now." The boy jumped out of his seat, but Duo was already running for the telephone. "I'll just be a second!"  
  
* * *  
TBC 


	2. Part 2: Without the Moon

Author's Notes: This one isn't as funny as the last, but that's mostly because the fic didn't have lemon content. I have ideas for more, though, eventually.  
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, AU, comedy, romance  
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6+5/5+6, reference to other *fictional* pairings  
Warnings: Possible OOC but I don't think so. Shonen ai and references to lemons and limes and odd pairings that they are reading about. If you haven't read the fics, you may be confused, but you'll still get the gist of why they react the way they do.  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.fanfiction.net  
  
Yaoi Fanfiction  
  
Part 2: Without The Moon  
  
It only took thirty minutes for the former Lightning Count to arrive, but it turned out he'd already been notified of the readings. His sister had sent him an email as well, and while he hadn't read any of the stories yet, he'd researched the codes used. By searching the internet, he had found out what the pairings and warnings were, and that was enough to send him running to the others. He was greeted at the door by a grinning Duo, and escorted into the dining room where the other former pilots waited.  
  
"Well, what I want to know is why I never heard of this series," Zechs said, looking around the table as he sat in the chair Duo directed him to. "To think that the story of us has been spread to who knows how many people and we weren't even notified?"  
  
"Later," Duo said quickly, his eyes darting to Wufei as the black-haired boy's expression was very stubborn. "We're reading right now. We can watch the series some other time, right Heero? I mean, it shouldn't be too hard to get."  
  
"It's everywhere," the Japanese boy said, nodding slowly.   
  
"You missed the lemon fic," Duo grinned, his eyes dancing as he looked to the white-haired man who sat across from him. "But that's okay, you can read it later. What's next, Heero?"  
  
"It's an...alternate universe fic," Heero said, lifting the next story from the stack in front of him. "According to this, it's rated PG..."  
  
"Kiddie fic," Duo said quickly. "That's an American rating."  
  
"Leave it to an American to write this...stuff," Wufei muttered, glaring at the longhaired boy. "It's in English, after all."  
  
"Get over it," Duo returned, sticking his tongue out at the boy. "Or I'll just let Zechs here read that porno fic." The boy immediately turned red, and he grinned at him, noticing that Zechs raised an eyebrow. "Okay, the next fic is...Without The Moon. What kind of title is that?"  
  
"What's Sailor Moon?" Quatre asked, frowning. His gaze immediately went to Heero since the boy seemed to know everything.  
  
"I have no idea," Heero admitted, "but a fusion means you take one story and...meld it with another. So she's taken the 'Sailor Moon' and put us into the story as if we are the ones in that world."  
  
"You're right," Zechs nodded, "I saw references to fusions when I looked this topic up."  
  
"Okay, let's read. The pairings are perfect." Duo smiled, pleased by the 1+2 and 3+4 even though he wouldn't have minded an 'x' instead of the plus sign. Heero smirked at him, and Wufei seemed relieved that he hadn't been listed at all. Duo reminded himself to make sure the Chinese boy was in the next fic.  
  
They didn't make it through the first page without comment, and Heero scowled suddenly. "My eyes are *not* cobalt blue," he said scathingly, setting the papers down sharply. "She used that color in the last fic as well."  
  
"No," Quatre agreed, leaning forward so he could see his friend better. "They're more like dark, dark blue."  
  
"With a grayish tint when he's angry," Duo put in, smiling. "But that's cool, she says my eyes are purple."  
  
"No, the word was violet. That's a shade of blue, isn't it?" Quatre frowned when Duo rolled his eyes.  
  
"Blue-violet, or violet-blue has blue in it," Duo explained, his expression patient. "But the violet means purple. I don't have purple eyes, do I, Heero?"  
  
"Sometimes."  
  
The boy's eyes were sparkling, and Wufei stared at him, again wondering if he should ask. "I have *never* seen purple in Duo's eyes."  
  
"That's why you're still alive," Heero said cryptically. Then he smirked as Duo was staring at him in obvious confusion. "They're actually lavender when he's...exhausted."  
  
Groans went up around the table as the boy's meaning sank in, and Duo blushed lightly, blinking quickly. "Oh..." Then he scanned a bit further and frowned. "My face is *not* heart-shaped! Is she trying to say I have a pointed chin?"  
  
"Duo? You are a baka."  
  
"You said that earlier," Duo muttered, looking at Heero's mocking expression.   
  
"It's still true. Heart-shaped doesn't mean your chin is pointed. It means your face isn't just oval." The longhaired boy was still frowning, and Heero shook his head. "Forget it."  
  
**one page later**  
  
"Is this *Sally* Poe? As a teacher?" Zechs smirked at the thought, "I don't see it."  
  
"Maybe she wanted her in there but didn't have a better role," Quatre offered. "Maybe there aren't any military doctors or rebels in this story."  
  
"Okay, but I'm not that much of a suck-up. I mean, my teachers hated me when I had to enroll in a school during the war. There's no way I'd make such a good impression so quickly." Duo blinked when Wufei snorted. "What?"  
  
"I believe that," the dark-eyed boy said, smirking. "You never shut up, no teacher would like you. And Sally would have seen through such an act in an instant."  
  
"You know her *so* well," Duo drawled, the insinuation blatant. "Maybe *that's* why the author didn't pair you up. You're going to end up with the teacher!"  
  
"Sally?" Zechs looked at the dark-haired boy sharply, raising an eyebrow as the boy turned red. "She's so much older than you."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
**more reading**  
  
"Whoah! What's the deal with the talking cat? And why do I keep calling it...Shi-chan?"  
  
Heero shook his head, understanding Duo's confusion. He knew that he'd understand better it he'd been familiar with whatever it was the fic was being fused with, but he hadn't heard of it. "I don't know. But this Wing she mentioned, Wing Zero? My Gundam?"  
  
"Know any other Wings?" Duo asked. "I can't believe I'm talking to a cat. At least the other fic was realistic. This is like...fantasy stuff."  
  
"It did say that in the category," Quatre reminded him. Then he smiled, pointing at the page he'd just read. "Hilde has a crush on you."  
  
"What?!" Duo's eyes widened, and he flipped the page quickly, scanning over the typed text as he read the next part. "Well...okay. This author has absolutely no clue. Hilde having a crush on *me*? Hell, she liked Trowa better." Quatre's suddenly icy eyes turned on him, and he gave a quick laugh, blinking warily. "Um...she saw him at the circus once. It's nothing."  
  
"Nothing? Fine, but what about Catherine? Trowa is like her brother." Quatre glared as he could tell the story had made his tall lover uncomfortable. "And here they're implying that she likes him, romantically. And what does that mean? Trowa's not gay? Catherine *knows* he is."  
  
"She denies liking him, see? And maybe in this...alternate universe, she *doesn't* know." Duo shook his head, turning away from the blonde boy so he could look at Heero. "What really gets me is Relena. This sounds like she's obsessed with you, where did that come from?"  
  
Heero didn't answer, dropping his eyes as he read as well. He knew where it had come from, the discrepancies in the series on which the story was based. Realizing they'd all see it eventually, he sighed. "In the Gundam Wing anime Relena followed me around everywhere, and she kept asking me to kill her. She also opened my mail and it seems the yaoi fans hate her."  
  
"She opened your mail?" Duo stared for a minute then burst into laughter, his eyes very wide. "Oh my God! No wonder she was upset about these stories. And she asked you to *kill* her? Shit, Relena doesn't have a suicidal bone in her body. She's a pacifist."  
  
"She fired a gun at Une in the series."  
  
Zechs promptly choked on the coffee he'd been drinking, his pale blue eyes flying to Heero. He hadn't really been bothered by anything in the story so far, and since he hadn't been a character, he'd decided against contributing. But the thought of his sister shooting a gun, let alone one aimed at Lieutenant Une was too far-fetched. "Why would she do that?"  
  
"For killing her father," Heero said, his eyes boring into the man's.   
  
"But that was on Treize's orders," Zechs said, shaking his head. "Relena knows that. It sounds to me like there are serious flaws in this...series."  
  
"There are."  
  
**a few pages further**  
  
"Okay, this is just wrong. I don't mind this story so much, I mean, I get magic powers and all, but there's no way I'd be beat *that* easily." Duo glared, tossing the fic aside. "I sound weak."  
  
"You are," Wufei said, smirking when the boy's glare turned on him. "In this story. Remember, it's fiction." Duo didn't seem to take the comment well, but he enjoyed being able to get back at him, at least a little bit.   
  
"This is me?" Zechs blinked sharply as he read the story. At first, he'd wondered who the new character was, especially since the man had long white hair and he was the only person he knew with such hair. Then, the author abruptly put in his name, and it came as quite a shock. "Why would I touch Duo's forehead?"  
  
"What's wrong with my forehead?" Duo asked, frowning at the man.   
  
"Maybe you're like his father or something," Quatre offered, wincing at the incredulous looks he received. "Well, haven't you ever seen movies where the bad guy ends up being the father of the good guy and he never knew it? Don't look at me like that..."  
  
"What movies have you been watching, Quatre?" Duo raised an eyebrow when the blonde boy shrugged.  
  
"Star Wars."  
  
"Oh! I get it! I am your father." The others were looking at him now, and Duo shook his head. "Nevermind. It's an old American movie. Okay, next page."  
  
A few minutes later, they'd finished the first part of the fic and had started on the second. It was Quatre who spoke this time, and the blonde boy wasn't happy at all.  
  
"This part here, where Duo walks home alone because he's too proud to have protection. Is the author saying Duo has more pride than me? Or that he's strong enough to walk home alone but I'm not?"  
  
"Not necessarily," Trowa murmured, squeezing the pale boy's shoulders lightly. "Maybe this was just an excuse to let me walk you home." Quatre blinked at this.  
  
"More likely, Duo is too blinded by his pride to allow an escort. You, being a more reasonable person, see the wisdom in it." Zechs shrugged when Duo gave him a dirty look, and he noticed that Wufei was nodding. "Although it does allow for the building of a 3+4 pairing."  
  
"Okay," Quatre smiled. "That's fine."  
  
"Maybe for you," Duo muttered, still insulted a bit. "Why can't Heero walk me home? It's not like I'd mind. I'm not that stuck on pride. More like Wufei, too big and strong to need help." His friend glared, and he smiled sweetly. "Right?"  
  
"At least my Gundam isn't a talking cat."   
  
"Jerk," Duo muttered. It was a good comeback, though. After all, he had been talking to one black 'Shinigami', but then, he didn't call his Gundam Shinigami. "I'm Shinigami, not Deathscythe. So it's more like *I* am the talking...cat..."   
  
Wufei smirked when the boy closed his mouth quickly. "I see the author doesn't think highly of you. That, or she has her names twisted. Maybe your split personality is the talking cat."  
  
"Shut up and read the fic."  
  
* * *  
  
"Dorothy?!" Duo was choking, his face pale. "Eww, I kissed her hand?! That's gross. This writer needs to have her head examined. I mean, sure, I'm playful sometimes, but this is *Dorothy* we're talking about. She'd kill me."  
  
"Actually, she blushed." Quatre smiled as he tried in vain to imagine the girl blushing. "It's funny if you think about it."  
  
"Maybe for you," Duo muttered. "You're not the one whose lips touched her hand."  
  
"No, but I'm the one who keeps being portrayed as some sort of weakling," Quatre shot back, not liking the boy's pout. "If I liked Trowa, there's no way I'd just leave him to someone else without putting up a fight. And that excuse? I had a test to study for? It's so...lame. Why am I always the wimpy one?"  
  
"So I can be the pursuer," Trowa said easily, his green eyes glinting. "You got your feelings hurt because you're sensitive, and you left so *I* could go after you. It makes sense to me."  
  
Quatre raised an eyebrow, taking in how pleased the tall boy looked. "I was the one who did all the *pursuing* and you know it. If I'd waited for you to come and get me, we'd still be single. You were too shy."   
  
Trowa actually dropped his eyes, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink when his friends raised eyebrows at him. "I wasn't shy...it wasn't that."  
  
* * *  
  
"Watch out, Zechs," Wufei murmured as he read the next part. "It looks like Treize and Une are plotting against you."  
  
"I can't believe they're *my* subordinates," the white haired man said slowly. "It's the complete opposite from the way it was."  
  
"Who cares?" Duo chirped, his eyes sparkling. "Heero was staring at me! Man, this is too cute. I guess Trowa and Quatre aren't the only ones who get sap with this author."  
  
"Hn."  
  
* * *  
  
"You know something?" Duo asked, his expression solemn when the others looked up. "If I didn't know Relena, I'd hate her for the way she is shown in this fic. I mean, she calls Heero hers, it's infuriating."  
  
"There are a number of Relena-bashing fics out there," Heero nodded, "the series ruined her name."  
  
"That's just wrong," Quate put in. "If they were going to make a movie, or a series about us, the least they could do is keep us true to ourselves."  
  
"You were close," Heero commented, staring at the blonde boy. "Your character may have been a *bit* too soft, but it was definitely you. And yet, you're still portrayed as weak."  
  
"I guess fanfiction means people decide for themselves what the characters act like..."  
  
* * *  
  
"Wing!" Duo's face was red, he was laughing so hard and his hand shook as he pointed a finger at Heero. "Your *cat*!" The Japanese boy was glaring at him, but he just couldn't help it. Even Wufei's lips were twitching with a smirk. "Heero's Gundam is a talking cat!"  
  
"Duo, you have a talking cat, too," Quatre reminded the boy, aware of how red Heero's face was.   
  
"Yes," Wufei agreed, smirking at Heero, "But Heero's supposed to be the sane one of the two.  
  
"Keep reading," Zechs commented, raising an eyebrow at Duo. "Heero's cat is stalking you."  
  
"What?"  
  
* * *  
  
"Am I supposed to be jealous?" Heero asked suddenly glaring at the papers in his hand. Looking up, he found the others smiling at him. "Of a cat?! I'm jealous of a cat?"  
  
"Oh, come on," Duo grinned, leaning against the boy. "I think that's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard of." Heero looked a bit mollified, but Duo blinked suddenly and smiled at Quatre. "Except, of course, the part when Trowa carries Quatre's book-bag." Wufei snorted and Duo exchanged smirks with him before making a face at Quatre. "Poor little blonde can't carry all those *heavy* books, he needs big, strong Trowa."  
  
"Duo, don't make me stuff that braid down your throat." The longhaired boy blinked in shock and Quatre flushed a bit, still glaring. "I am *not* weak."  
  
"Maybe not," Duo muttered, still surprised by the malice in the normally kind boy's voice, "but you sure are touchy."  
  
* * *  
  
"I don't want to read this anymore," Quatre said suddenly, slapping the stack of pages down on the table. "They killed Trowa."  
  
"No way, it's PG," Duo reminded him. "Besides, they knocked you out, too. I'm sure you guys'll be fine. They wouldn't just kill off the good guys, right?"  
  
"Actually, there are deathfics." The longhaired boy frowned at him and Zechs nodded solemnly. "I saw the category listed on the site I looked up. Those are fics where the sole purpose is to kill off one of the main characters."  
  
"What's the point of that?" Wufei muttered. The white-haired man shrugged and he waved his hand over the page in front of him. "Is it just me, or did we just get saved by a bunch of girls in short skirts?"  
  
"It's a good thing they showed up," Heero said softly, his eyes locked on Zechs. "What kind of fighter hides behind a woman's shield?"  
  
"I would never use Noin like that," Zechs shot back, glaring when Heero raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"It's so sweet," Duo purred suddenly, grinning as he teased the man. "She's protecting you. I knew you two were a couple. It's just like how she rushed out to find you when you joined White Fang."  
  
"At least the author doesn't twist *all* of her pairings." Violet eyes glared at him, but Wufei ignored the boy. "I have more respect for her now."  
  
"But Noin and I aren't a couple," Zechs murmured, frowning at the former pilots. "We've *never* been a couple, not like that."  
  
"Really?" Duo asked, his eyes bright. "Hear that, Wufei?" The black-haired boy turned red and looked ready to jump across the table at him. Leaning back in his chair, he smirked and shot a sidelong glance at Heero. "We should have let Zechs read that other fic, first."  
  
"Duo, I swear-"  
  
"Zechs, do you recognize the names of those two enemies?" Wufei glared at him for interrupting, but Quatre wasn't looking at him. "Alex and Mueler?"  
  
"I know I've heard the names somewhere," the man admitted, his pale eyebrows drawn together.   
  
"You killed them in the series. I was wondering why the author would make them allies of yours in the fic." A hand fell on his shoulder and Quatre blinked up at Trowa. "What?"  
  
"You watched the series?" The blonde boy's eyes widened suddenly, flicking to the others.   
  
"Uh..." Quatre flushed, taking in the way everyone was staring at him. Only Heero didn't seem surprised. "Let's finish the fic!"  
  
"Okay," Trowa said slowly, "but we need to talk about what you've been doing in your free time. There must be something wrong with that series if you weren't planning to tell me about it."  
  
"Well...there's nothing *wrong* with it...it's just that..." Thinking of a few scenes in the series where Trowa had been a whimpering wreck, Quatre closed his mouth firmly. "We'll talk about it later. There are only two more parts left."  
  
* * *  
  
"This is so wrong," Quatre muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Why couldn't she have left Trowa alone so *he* could carry me? Why did it have to be *Dorothy* of all people? I'm not that scrawny!"  
  
"She's a strong girl," Trowa said diplomatically, giving the boy a consoling squeeze around his shoulders. "And she is supposed to be stronger in the fic, right? Besides, it was you or me. If you want to talk details, imagine Wufei being able to pick *me* up."  
  
"What are you saying?" Wufei asked slowly, his voice a dangerous growl. "That Dorothy is more likely to pick up Quatre than I am to carry you?" Green eyes blinked at him from a calm face and he gritted his teeth. "Fool."  
  
"Guys, be nice!" Duo was leaning against Heero, having moved his chair closer to the dark-eyed boy. "I like the fic, so far."  
  
"Sure you do," Quatre said, shooting him a frown. "You get to be carried by Heero. Your character is supposed to be stronger than the rest of us. And you were complaining about being weak in the fic..."  
  
"Heh, what can I say? The author's a woman, naturally, she'd favor the gorgeous American." Three glares pinned him from across the table and Duo grinned quickly, waving his hands. "I'm kidding! You guys are so uptight. Let's just finish the part. Look, Heero *did* end up walking me home!"  
  
Looking down, they read for a few minutes before Wufei spoke out suddenly. "What does this mean? Why would Heero care if Duo stayed at the temple?"  
  
"Because you might take advantage of me," Duo blinked innocently, not laughing until the Chinese boy's face turned red. "Besides, he's jealous enough of his cat, imagine how bad he'd be if I spent the night with you." He felt something hot on his neck and turned slowly, flinching at the glare Heero aimed on him. "Heh..."  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Yeah?" A hand swept up against the back of his head and Duo let out a small cry, rubbing the spot. "Hey! That hurt!"  
  
"Baka."  
  
* * *  
  
"Why would I *do* that?" Zechs frowned, taking a small drink of his coffee. "Is there something I missed, here? I mean, I know I'm the bad guy in the fic, and Duo's obviously the main character, but why would I kidnap him?" Dark blue eyes caught his gaze and he blinked at Heero's smirk.   
  
"You're a slow reader," Heero said smoothly. "They explain the reason in the next part. Take a look." The man's frown deepened and Heero waited, watching the others as they also looked to the last part. He knew when Zechs had finished the section because the man's pale face turned bright red. It made him wonder how the man would react if he'd read the lemons earlier. Duo choked beside him and he smirked at the boy's wide eyes.  
  
"I-I thought this was supposed to be PG!" Fiddling with the tip of his braid, Duo glanced at Heero. The boy didn't look bothered, but he felt insulted. He frowned for a second, then glared when Wufei snorted.  
  
"At least it's not me," Wufei murmured, smirking at Duo. "That must be the character she always gives Zechs." The white-haired man frowned at him, but Wufei wasn't bothered anymore. It was different now that the pairing didn't include him.  
  
"Am I supposed to rape Duo?" Zechs asked, his voice low. He'd never needed to use force in his relationships and he was insulted, even if the story was fiction. His eyes met Duo's and he nodded to the boy. "You know I'm not interested."  
  
"Yeah," Duo agreed, a small frown playing with his lips, "but you don't have to say it like that." Heero snorted and he shot the boy a glare before shaking his head. It only took a quick moment for his good humor to return and he caught Zechs's gaze again, raising an eyebrow and leaning closer to the table. "Tell me, would you like it better if someone else was in the fic? Wufei, maybe?" The pale-haired man blinked at him, but Wufei growled and he snickered at the boy's red face. He really wished Zechs had been with them earlier.  
  
"Duo, don't start, okay?" Quatre gave a wary glance to Wufei, and he felt sorry for the boy. He was obviously embarrassed to be pointed out. But Zechs didn't seem at bothered, and that was more interesting to note. In fact, he could swear the man had the beginnings of a smirk, those pale blue eyes unfocused as if he were imagining something. Duo frowned at him and he pointed to the page. "It's almost finished."  
  
* * *  
  
"That's so sweet," Quatre murmured, leaning against Trowa, much as Duo was with Heero. Wufei snorted, and Zechs looked irritated, but no one was upset by the end of the fic. "I guess it isn't so bad to be hurt if I get to have Trowa all concerned. And that kiss was so cute!"  
  
"Heh, I like Heero's better," Duo smirked. He turned his head, shooting the boy a hot look. "Up against the wall, all forceful like that, not bad at all."  
  
"Get a room."  
  
Zechs let out a small laugh at Wufei's droll tone, but Duo smiled at the boy, scooting his chair even closer to Heero. "Well, I'd say they got Wufei's character down pretty good. We aren't even kissing and you look ready to blush." The black-haired boy glared at him and he laughed. "But this is *our* house, remember? We can do it in any room we want." Heero tugged on his braid, reprimanding him. "Well, maybe later."  
  
"I have to admit," Wufei said, "this one wasn't that bad."  
  
"It gets worse," Heero told him, smirking when the boy's face dropped. "Most of them are focused on Duo, though, and Quatre and Trowa." He shuffled through the other stories he'd printed and shook his head. "There's only one that really has you in it, we could read that next."  
  
"No!" Zechs raised an eyebrow at him and Wufei waved a hand at Heero. "Whichever you pick is fine. Don't do me any favors."  
  
* * *  
TBC 


End file.
